Naked & Ashamed: Hubby cheats with twin. Epic revenge by wifey.

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If you’re a dude, you’ve probably thought of schmexing up two twins at once.

Bonus points if they’re not prozzies. Questionable bonus points if one’s your wife’s twin sister and they’ve both agreed because you’re just that persuasive (questionable because: incest). And negative points to the wizards of DickinWhore if it’s just with your wife’s twin sister – and wifey doesn’t know about it. Until she finds you porking her. In a car. One Chinese woman found this out the hard way, when she found her hubby eggroll deep in her twin sister – in a backseat.

Strange that the strange he went out and got himself had the same shell. I mean, for the cheated’s bruised ego, this could mean a couple things: he’s still attracted to you (‘cause he’s banging your identical twin). But it could also mean he’s bored of your personality (or that it changed for the worse somewhere along the way – still not an excuse, obv.) But whether or not wifey was a shrew – she was definitely shrewd in judging how to deal with this situation once she found them. Because the moment they hopped out to console her or explain themselves (or invite her to partake?), bish hopped in the driver’s seat of the love crime scene, locked ‘em out, and drove away.


(Hide my mug? Or my muff? Just one of the many things sluts should decide well in advance.)

As there’s no resolution to this tale, I’m left pondering a handful of things:

First: How’d they get home? Longest walk of shame ever?

Second: Ahhh, that “shame”. They don’t handle that well over there, do they?

I bet that walk culminated in the edge of building rooftop.

Third: What punishment must that car ride home have been to the scorned wife’s olfactory bulb? I don’t envy that this poor woman. I mean, she had to inhale the fornication fumes of her shitty husband and sister for an entire drive (after which I like to think she parked it, got drunk, pinned their pictures to it, and pitched Molotov cocktails at it all night). I hope she at least rolled down all the windows and drove like Ace Venture with his broken windshield once she got far enough away that they couldn’t try to climb inside.

Fourth: The shade (level: Regina George) reactions of the surrounding townsfolk may have been better than the entire story itself: “It was so funny,” 33-year-old witness You Meng mused, “Loads of people were grabbing their phones and I did as well. He was banging his fist on the window and shouting at her, and she just wasn’t playing ball.” So excellent. I bet if I had a picture of the giggling picture-taking crowd, it’d almost be more impressive than the one above. #asianstereotypes

And, finally, fifth: I bet you anything that when the twin he was hitched to hopped in that adultery-mobile, at least some part of him (partially flaccid, partially not) hoped it was ‘cause she planned to join the party.

Alas, buddy, the only twins you’re getting now probably match your twin bedsheets.

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