Still not sold on the punani plunger. Tampons FTW

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Congratulations, suggestion section of Youtube.

It’s not even noon on Monday.

And I’ve already reached that “that’s enough internet for today” point.

Right after seeing the lovely FreeLee demonstrate how to put a Lunette up her poon-ette.


(Even Jackson can’t enjoy his popcorn at this thought)

You know, I’m pretty sure I posted something about these “cups” a while back. They’re meant to be these alternatives to tampons that you fold before shoving past your femme folds and up into the uteral abyss. Once, there, it unfolds again to its original shape whereupon it serves its function: a goblet of gore. Catching everything cotton normally would. But instead of easily discarding it into a toilet bowl of denial about your feminine tragic flaw that is an emotional sanguine explosion every four weeks, you know what you get to do when the vaj chalice gets full? Take it out and wash it. With your fingers. With your human fingers covered in the same flesh you put in your contact lenses with. Wait – if that doesn’t gross you out, I want you to close your eyes (after reading the following sentences, obv) and do the following thought experiment:

You’re on the toilet, removing this fluid filled pussy plunger after a busy day.

(Yep, we’re going there.)

What sound does it make as it hits the water?

Something on par with your boyfriend’s A.M. constitutional, mayhaps?

Or is it more like a post binge drink and bar food vomit sound?

Oh, and what about the backsplash a half second later?

Yes, that was meant to ruin your brunch, my love.

With that, it’s time to hit up Wegmans (now that my appetite’s all worked up) and while I’m there – also restock on my toxic cotton mice in all their death-to-the-planet plastic applicator glory. Why? Because I’m trying my hardest to recycle and use reusable bags on my shopping excursions. But you know what? Until I get to move into an off-grid treehouse in an orchard with an amazing view of the mountains or ocean, a girl’s gotta draw the line somewhere to retain her sanity while she’s still part of society.

And for me that line is wherever my lady crater ends and the rest of the world begins.

As “everything” as this video is, I’m still as unsold as the first time I saw this.

#sorrynotsorry

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