Whenever you see those pics of smiling flight attendants on those 20-odd hour flights, you think, “FAAAAYKE”.
Nobody looks that good after 20-ass hours on a plane.
No passengers look that good, let alone flight attendants who are on their feet, serving drinks, cleaning up vomit, serving more drinks, going through two hangover cycles and restraining crazy b*ches who mixed Ambien with Chardonnay.
this is not a real human being
They must be witches or something.
Actually, they’re just smart about their makeup and diet.
stahhhhhp you make me feel bad about myself
You know how gross you feel waking up wearing last night’s makeup?
Imagine that–but on top of that, you never went to sleep.
hi, we’re perfect, kthxbi
Here are the makeup secrets that help flight attendants looking so fresh and so clean clean.
Good anti-fatigue eye serums have a tightening effect and really help to energise tired looking eyes, ready for landing.
Under-eye concealers with light reflectors are recommended and for a fresh look, apply a tinted moisturiser, rather than using powder, to infuse the skin with moisture followed by a light blusher and lip gloss.
Avoid waterproof mascara as this will dry out the lashes on-board.
It’s all about the moisture and hydration. Your skin can only take so damn much recycled air until you’re looking dried out like a leftover pastry in the Starbucks display case.
Keeping your hair from looking frizzy, flat, matted, or otherwise like roadkill is a challenge over a long period of time.
Once on-board it’s a good habit to apply hair oil or serum to the ends of the hair to counteract this.
If brushing your hair, use a wooden hairbrush so that the aircraft’s static electricity doesn’t leave your hair standing on end!
And to maintain that look:
Cabin Crew sometimes use a pea-sized amount of hand cream or lip gloss to smooth down fly aways and control frizz, which works a treat.
You are what you eat, which means that you’re likely a Chipotle burrito in an ill-fitting skirt.
Water based foods including fruit and vegetables are the best options for long-haul travel as well as coconut water.
Well that sounds nice and fresh.
But wait…I bet there’s a catch.
Although it’s tempting to enjoy a cup of coffee or a glass of wine in-flight, caffeine and alcohol are both major causes of dehydration so we highly recommend going for a fruit juice instead.
I’m serving wine and coffee to people throughout the flight.
Merely “tempting” would be the walk to the terminal.
Tempting is not being a bartender who can’t drink for the majority of a day.
Anyway, it’s nice to know I look like sh*t because pretty much every aspect of my beauty routine is wrong.
Better chug some coconut water.