Is this tri-tittied chick scamming – or just sad inside?

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“I got the surgery because I wanted to turn off guys,” says three-breasted Jasmine Tridevil.

(Yep. We just went from climate change to boobs today.)

She adds, “I know that sounds crazy, but I decided I never wanted to date again ever.”

(Am I really still writing this?)

Okay. Okay. Some points:

1. I wouldn’t use “crazy”, darling. Mentally ill, mayhaps.

2. I like “Tridevil” – especially since Tri-“dent” would be opposite of accurate here

3. I call bullshit.

And not just on the real nature of her bra’s contents – though we’ll come back to that.

For now I’ll bite and say she’s clearly not dated enough to know about guys.

Or their “Total Recall” obsesh:


(O.G. chick looked a lot like the late Winehouse #amirite?)

Dudes dig that Arnie flick – and that mythical chick with three mammaries is no small contribution to why they do, apparently. Plus, much like little people or that one stripper with a wooden leg who works at Pink Parts on Friday evening, it’s attractive in that novelty screw or “sexy defective” sorta way. You know – like when you see a gorgeous coat but it’s missing a button, so you’re sure you’ll be able to get it for next to nothing if you silver tongue your way into it? Like you almost feel entitled to the coat because of this flaw it has?

Yeah. It’s like that.

Apparently that’s not what homegirl wants to do with her silicone superpowers, though. She’s aiming real high. All the way to reality T.V., that is: “I am starting a reality show called ‘Jasmine’s Jugs.’,” she says – adding, “My ultimate goal is get it on MTV that’s my dream.”

But “a dream” is all Dr. Greenwald – a board certified plastic surgeon – says this whole thing is. An illusion. A trick. A scam. He believes that Jasmine’s alleged $20,000 surgery couldn’t have happened without significant scarring. And since her claims are that they collected the titty tissue from her abdomen, it would have shown, right? Her excuse for not disclosing her plastic surgeon’s name are because he broke the Hippocratic oath in order to do the surgery. Then again, since about 99% of the non-90210 docs I’ve met fall into that violation bucket too, it doesn’t nix this boob chick’s legitimacy.

Her body language and tone of voice in this video are somewhat telling:

She seems too f’real awkward and introspective to be faking a lover scorned.

Her posture’s neither that of a confident actress nor a performer over-selling a dejected soul persona. It’s like she’s a normal person trying to comport herself for the camera. But then she falls short by defensively explaining herself with every gesticulation, swiveling nervously in her chair, and doing the “self-touch” (click the link, not as sexy as it sounds) people do when they’re nervous. My verdict? It’s like a sci-fi version of Great Expectations – and whether it’s authentic or not, it’s still sad. It’s easy to look at someone like this and miss that there’s a person underneath all those glorious flesh balloons. But there is. And if she hacked up herself after having her heart hacked, that’s the travesty. Regardless of anyone’s appendage additions – if it’s because of some deficit inside, that’s what I hope they can sort out. For now – whether Jas’s rack is real, attractive, or lands her a reality show, it’s all irrelevant. ’cause this bish is attracting a shiz ton of hits on our Generation’s DIY reality show: Youtube.

And that’s the only “real” that matters to Generation “Me”, generally.

Money, sure.

But namely your 15 minutes and the illusion digital friends and fans provide.

Legit chicks? Or Computer Generated?

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A fun quick quiz. The following are a series of pictures that look ridiculously real.

Guess which of these chicks are real and which ones are computer generated:

Fake? Or well posed selfie in front of a web cam?

Fake? Or well posed selfie in front of a web cam?

Mom, I want SuicideGirl barbie for Christmas!

Mom, I want SuicideGirl barbie for Christmas!

This one looks like she could be related to Megan Fox.

This one might be an actual model, but she looks like she could be related to Megan Fox.

Fake or not, I hope they called this one "American Foodie"

Fake or not, I hope they called this one “American Foodie”

Skin looks a little too good... but that might just be a little airbrushing.

Skin looks a little too good… but that might just be a little airbrushing.

Real girl that was photoshopped? Or faux from the get go?

Real girl that was photoshopped? Or faux from the get go?

Her nationality is Hakkanese. Although, she might "hack" less if she stopped smoking.

Her nationality is Hakkanese. Although, she might “hack” less if she stopped smoking.

Don't let the flawless skin affect your judgment; most Asian chicks naturally have gorgeous complexions

Don’t let the flawless skin affect your judgment; most Asian chicks naturally have gorgeous complexions

Okay, now the answers. Which one’s weren’t real?

ALL OF THEM.

That’s right! Remember that movie with Al Pacino movie from circa 2000 called S1m0ne? Pacino plays an agent who creates the “perfect” celebrity/singer who will never show up late, complain, or bitch about the color of the m&ms in her trailer – not because she’s made of sugar and spice, but of ones and zeroes.

Anyway, CGTrader (a 3D Graphics blog) nabbed these similarly generated pictures of women (both based off real and imagined chicks), and then grouped them together recently for “International Women’s Day”. Although the bunch chosen might be missing a little variety if it wants to fit the “international” description, these are still some pretty amazing works of art here. Details like the eye reflections in the third and fifth chicks made these projects take as long as a month or so to complete.

It would be interesting to see images like these come to life in an actual film on the silver screen. Imagine how pissed high paid A listers would be if they saw a movie filled with performers whose extreme likeness to themselves made for a ridiculous amount of money… of which they’d never see a dime.

“This summer… Not-Johnny Depp stars in this high octane thriller opposite Not-Angelina Jolie…”

Pssh. It sounds epic already!

xoxo
<3~A