Is this racist? Are gays not allowed to have preferences?


Settle down, class.

As we continue our section on “Is it racist?”, we’re going to watch a short video.

And discuss it afterward.

(Suzanne, can you get the lights please? Thank you , dear…)

First, I have trouble believing anyone would turn this guy down.

However, we do like what we like.

Does it make me discriminatory that I’ve generally “gone for” dark haired dudes over gingers or blondies? Mayhaps. But I don’t feel like it’s a social cancer inducing kinda proclivity. It’s dating. Dynamics happening intimately in your private life aren’t anyone else’s business. Your baby making equipment doesn’t have to be an equal opportunity employer. In fact, I’ve actually come to find that having (and sticking to) a “type” is one of those things that just ends up affecting the picker more adversely than the pickee.

For example, note that I said above, “we like what we like – not who.”

This is and has been the foundation for my whole problem in the past. I’ve missed out, holding out for a “what” because the features it describes generally supplement some ideal I’ve got in my mind – even if I don’t wanna believe that about myself. So much so that, in the past, my mind would do a shut-down thing when approached by someone who didn’t fit my pre-constructed preference section in my mind. (Awful, yes, I know). When I became more open-minded, I didn’t necessarily start dating every type there is. But what I did do was start making my sexual preferences a non-priority. I try tabling the whole “Can I see myself sleeping with you?” at the outset (I said “try”). The benefit of this is even the mere thought of hooking up in the back seat – takes a back seat… till we really meet. And I mean meet the actual person – versus some fetishist or Platonic idea I’ve had dreamed up since before you were brave enough to come say hi. This means that I listen critically to what you say, absorb it, respond, and – above all – get over myself enough to do any of those first three things. It’s horribly hard for someone like me who’s constantly battling between multiple solipsistic intrinsic voices (“Does this hat look dumb?” and “Of course it doesn’t. I look AMAZING.”)

But I try. ’cause you’re right, Sassy gay friend.

When I make a little effort at empathy, the whole world opens up.

To a different kinda love-seeking. Campy, I know, but hear me out.

Let me ask you this: how hard would it be to kindly say, “I hope you don’t think I’m leading you on. I don’t want to date you right now, but I’m very interested about this amazing trip to Europe that you’re telling me about which I’m sure isn’t even slightly embellished”? This (or something less passive aggressive) is the perfect go-to if you’re having a conversation and the other person’s reading your body language all wrong or starts getting handsy. The difference between this and the typical type of “friend-zoning” is that I’m not collecting you now to use later. I am your friend if we remain friends. I am interested in you as a human being. I’ll call and ask you how you are (text actually, probz). I’ll help you move if you get evicted. I’ll give you a ride if your car craps out. Interested in my friendship? Act now! Place your order! (Bump-uglies not included.)

And this open mindedness is my segue to the yes-but part of this message:

Compassionately rejecting others.

Or as my e-guru says, “Saying no with love.”

(See, my homo-homies? Your queen’s kind. Be like the queen.)

You have a right to say no, as I’ve mentioned. But if you’re not in the market for new friends, there’s a better way than the above. All of us can work on this. I feel like we owe it to ourselves as a species to improve the quality of the language capacity we worked so hard to evolve. And by that I mean: have a little effing couth when you’re turning down someone who grew a big enough sac to come chat you up.

Honesty and consideration are not mutually exclusive. Blunt does not equal sincerity. When the dude in the video gets shut down, it’s to the tune of something like, “I don’t date black guys.” This is the kind of thing you might say in the privacy of your head, along with “Did you gain weight, fat bitch?” or “I rubbed one out before I got here so I wouldn’t go home with a troll like you on accident.” Much better, I suppose, could be anything from, “Thank you! I’m flattered! But I’m going to have to say no. You’re wonderful, though.” (Who needs a reason – espesh if you’re being nice about it?) to the thing mentioned above: “No thanks, but you’re cool – come have coffee/a drink/see a gig with my friends and me sometime”.

I don’t care who you date. And you probably don’t care if I do care. Your personal prefs about where you park your peen aren’t any of my business. But as a suggestion: gays, un-gays, furry lovers, bisexual centaurs, and so on could all stand to be a bit more considerate when turning folks away from the red ropes lining our love clubs. No need to butthurt someone just ‘cause you don’t want them to hurt your butt later at home. Thus, my vote is this: sexual pref based rejection’s not racist, obviously. But depending on how you deliver it, it can make people feel pretty badly about themselves – be it about their skin’s shade, hair’s color, their height, or whatever else folks can’t change and shouldn’t have to.

So, please:

Do your thing – but be kind and remember that you don’t get a compassion pass upon exiting the closet.

You can totes keep the sass sans acting like an ass.

Naked & Ashamed: Hubby cheats with twin. Epic revenge by wifey.


If you’re a dude, you’ve probably thought of schmexing up two twins at once.

Bonus points if they’re not prozzies. Questionable bonus points if one’s your wife’s twin sister and they’ve both agreed because you’re just that persuasive (questionable because: incest). And negative points to the wizards of DickinWhore if it’s just with your wife’s twin sister – and wifey doesn’t know about it. Until she finds you porking her. In a car. One Chinese woman found this out the hard way, when she found her hubby eggroll deep in her twin sister – in a backseat.

Strange that the strange he went out and got himself had the same shell. I mean, for the cheated’s bruised ego, this could mean a couple things: he’s still attracted to you (‘cause he’s banging your identical twin). But it could also mean he’s bored of your personality (or that it changed for the worse somewhere along the way – still not an excuse, obv.) But whether or not wifey was a shrew – she was definitely shrewd in judging how to deal with this situation once she found them. Because the moment they hopped out to console her or explain themselves (or invite her to partake?), bish hopped in the driver’s seat of the love crime scene, locked ‘em out, and drove away.

(Hide my mug? Or my muff? Just one of the many things sluts should decide well in advance.)

As there’s no resolution to this tale, I’m left pondering a handful of things:

First: How’d they get home? Longest walk of shame ever?

Second: Ahhh, that “shame”. They don’t handle that well over there, do they?

I bet that walk culminated in the edge of building rooftop.

Third: What punishment must that car ride home have been to the scorned wife’s olfactory bulb? I don’t envy that this poor woman. I mean, she had to inhale the fornication fumes of her shitty husband and sister for an entire drive (after which I like to think she parked it, got drunk, pinned their pictures to it, and pitched Molotov cocktails at it all night). I hope she at least rolled down all the windows and drove like Ace Venture with his broken windshield once she got far enough away that they couldn’t try to climb inside.

Fourth: The shade (level: Regina George) reactions of the surrounding townsfolk may have been better than the entire story itself: “It was so funny,” 33-year-old witness You Meng mused, “Loads of people were grabbing their phones and I did as well. He was banging his fist on the window and shouting at her, and she just wasn’t playing ball.” So excellent. I bet if I had a picture of the giggling picture-taking crowd, it’d almost be more impressive than the one above. #asianstereotypes

And, finally, fifth: I bet you anything that when the twin he was hitched to hopped in that adultery-mobile, at least some part of him (partially flaccid, partially not) hoped it was ‘cause she planned to join the party.

Alas, buddy, the only twins you’re getting now probably match your twin bedsheets.

End of Tiger’s Marriage?


Indiscretions: Tiger is alleged to have slept with, clockwise from top left, Jaimee Grubbs, Holly Sampson, Jamie Jungers, Mindy Lawton, Loredana Jolie, Rachel Uchitel, Kalika Moquin and Cori Ris

From the Daily Mail:

On Friday photographs emerged showing a removal truck leaving the marital home packed with five or six large boxes.

The big move across the world – to the new Faglaro mansion she’s bought on an island near Stockholm will apparently come later.

Elin’s reported plans emerged while the News of the World also claimed that shamed Woods argued with his Swedish mother-in-law just minutes before she collapsed and was dramatically rushed into hospital last week.

It has also been reported by the same paper that Woods is still in touch with his most recent mistress Rachel Uchitel.

She is the VIP party hostess who allegedly sparked the domestic row two weeks ago that led to Woods crashing his car – flushing the whole scandal out into the open.

Another alleged mistress, Jamie Jungers, told the News of the World that they had sex hours before he learned his father had died of cancer.

She claimed they were still in bed when Woods received the phone call telling him his father had passed away at the age of 74 in May, 2006.

Deceased Earl had been described by Woods as ‘my best friend’.

On Friday night Woods admitted he was a love cheat as he announced he was taking an ‘indefinite break’ from golf.

Speculation over Tiger’s private life began after the bizarre car crash outside his house.

The golfer was left unconscious and bleeding following the crash in which he hit a fire hydrant and a neighbour’s tree following a reported 2am argument with Elin, a former Swedish model.

Letterman scandal reveals a private sex bunker in studio


David LettermanAn ex-“Late Show” intern unmasked herself Saturday as one of David Letterman’s former flings – and sources revealed the randy funnyman keeps a bachelor pad atop the Ed Sullivan Theater.

“I was madly in love with him at the time,” said Holly Hester. “I would have married him. He was hilarious.” It all started in 1990 when Letterman asked her out on a date to see a movie and the secret romance (/affair? he’s been with the mother of his child since 1989. no word on if they had gone on a “break” the year of 1990), until the funnyman called it off because of their age difference.

Hester, quoted by TMZ made the stunning admission as a Letterman show source dished that he kept a secret bedroom above his set in the Ed Sullivan Theater on Broadway. “He doesn’t have to come out,” a staffer said. “He has a suite upstairs.”

An ex-“Late Show” staffer said Letterman kept a room insiders dubbed “the bunker” that was open only to his favorite young female underlings.

Letterman, 62, admitted on the air Thursday that he had had several affairs, apparently while dating longtime love Regina Lasko, who he married in March. The two have a son, Harry, 5.

Letterman: I had sex with employees. Audience: LOL


When David Letterman admitted to his audience that he had multiple affairs with young girls who worked for him, the audience laughed and applauded, leaving many to ask “wtf?”. The Late Night host had been caught in a blackmail attempt that he got prosecuted, but also forced him to admit the substance of the blackmailing was in fact true.

Letterman made repeated mentions of “creepy things” he had done as the audience laughed, being unaware of what they were or that in fact they actually were creepy, leading Letterman at one point to react by asking “well now why is that funny? thats – I mean…”.

Yahoo! News has learned from unnamed sources “close to” Lettermans show that the staff who does the audience prep for the show were not made aware of the situation prior to the taping.

Discussing the subject of who did and didn’t know beforehand, one source said, “Only the show’s producers knew what was about to go down,” adding that many “Late Show” staffers learned of the situation watching off-stage monitors in real time as Letterman weaved his tale. So the routine in which the audience was prepped, which usually involves a heavy emphasis on laughing and applauding often and loudly, was not altered in any way. Thus, the audience, meticulously prepped for a good time at a nationally televised comedy show, probably thought that Letterman’s story was a comedy bit, as is most often the case.

More from Yahoo News:

In the aftermath of Letterman’s revelations, many will be watching to see what his late night talk show host cohorts do in response. Normally, scandals involving famous people that are sexual in nature make for great late night comedy fodder, but will Conan, Leno, Kimmel and Fallon band together to protect a member of the exclusive club they’re in? Of that group, Jay Leno seems to be the most likely to make jokes about the situation, especially considering the past public feuds between the two, in addition to the frequent shots Letterman has taken at Leno and his new prime time show in recent weeks. And it’s probably safe to assume that Craig Ferguson will steer clear of Letterman sex jokes, seeing that his show follows Letterman’s on CBS and, most significantly, his show is produced by Letterman’s production company, Worldwide Pants.

Involved fathers are key to girls waiting to have sex


While an involved mother can also help stave off a teen’s sexual activity, dads have twice the influence.

It’s something predatory men and teenage boys have known for hundreds of years; maybe forever: girls without fathers are easier to have sex with. The less prominent the fathers role in the girls life, the higher your chances of getting her to have sex with you with little coaxing or commitment. Perhaps in the past this was due much more to protectionism and the family structure of older times where father knows best and curfews were at 9 o’clock, but despite the cultural shift, the reality and reliability of the father-daughter rule remains.

Teenage boys know the rule all the more. You have a massively higher shot at getting laid by a girl raised by a whose parents are divorced, single mom, or who just hates daddy. This is frequently pointed out by male shock entertainers like Howard Stern and the now in exile Tom Leykis.

Now research by Boston College social psychologist Rebekah Levine Coley confirms it all with scientific observation in a study that surveyd 3,206 teens, ages 13 to 18, who all came from two-parent homes. The teens were asked about both their sexual behaviors and their relationships with their parents, including how much each parent knows about how they spend their time when they’re not home, and how much time they spent with each parent on activities like eating or playing games.

The impact of family time overall was especially notable. One additional family activity per week predicted a 9 percent drop in sexual activity.

Linda Carroll, an MSNBC contributor, writes in response to the study that when it comes to preventing risky teen sex, “there may be no better deterrent than a doting dad”.

Patrick Tolan, a professor of psychiatry and director of the Institute for Juvenile Research at the University of Illinois in Chicago explained, “if you’re spending time talking to them, they’re going to get your values and they’re more likely to think things through rather than acting impulsively.”