ONE WORD: LETITGO

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There are plenty of things in the household and other places that generally have a good threshold for being used again and again. And by things I mean actual things, and by other places I don’t mean the red light district. Zip lock bags for example are reusable. Assuming of course you’re not putting something super gross in there and keeping it in the attic under a blanket or something. You can easily wash a zip lock bag and use it multiple times. Same goes for plastic containers. As long as it has a lid and remains functional, meaning keeps the inside nice and sealed, it’s perfectly okay to wash and reuse a plastic container. However, when your container starts to chip around the sides and holes and cracks start appearing, that’s when you need to be like, okay I’ve gotten as much use out of this thing as possible, it’s time to say buh bye.

There are few things that should be on that list. Most are on the other list. It’s called “Are you friggin kidding me? You should definitely get rid of that shit” List.

  1. TIN FOIL – I was at my friend’s house the other day and I witnessed a tin foil covered with cheese and all kinds of gunk being taken out of the oven in order to be disposed of, as another person exclaimed that we shouldn’t in fact dispose of it because it’s still good and you can definitely cook over it and who cares. Dude. No. You use it as a liner to catch food particles as they fall/drip off whatever it is that you’re baking. After the process is done, food particles in question need to go in the garbage where they belong along with all the other perishables. Don’t pretend like you’re being conscious of the environment or even trying to save money. It’s just tin foil. You can get that shit at the dollar store.
  2. PLASTIC WRAP – Same story here. It’s neither super expensive nor hard to get. This isn’t communist Russia, you don’t have to stand in line for plastic wrap and toilet paper in hopes of maybe there being some left when you reach the counter. If you find yourself wrapping a lot of products and frequently, then maybe you should invest in something like zip lock bags. Or you can always invest in some children. They’ll eat all your shit so fast that wrapping things for later will be a distant memory.
  3. SANITIZED HAND WIPES – Those wonderful little wet things that you pull out of a container which is very conveniently designed to have a lid which opens and closes with just a snap are quite convenient. They work better than the gel sanitizer and they’re not as messy. You just wipe your hands with a towel like you normally would after washing your hands. Except that this time, said towel is not only doing the drying but it’s also doing the washing. What a concept! The problems begin when you start thinking that you can use those wash cloths again and again. Just because you only used it on a very small area and you think you should be able to get more out of it, doesn’t mean that you actually can. It’s in a sealed box for a reason. Once you take it out of the box, its moisturizing abilities will evaporate and no longer be there. Now you’re just wiping yourself with a dry napkin. Throw that shit out after first and only use.
  4. TAMPONS – I didn’t think that re-using a tampon was something that anyone would ever think of doing or assume that other people do. I was wrong. When the mentioned friend from earlier wanted to save the gross cheesy tin foil from the stove, I brought up the used tampon as an example. If you take out a tampon and let’s just say aunt flow wasn’t terribly moody that day and decided to only grace you with a couple of spots instead of a whole river, would you then think to yourself “Hmmm, looks like I didn’t get the most use out of this guy, maybe I’ll just shove it back in there for another day”, would you? And instead of getting grossed out like any other man does when Period Talk starts, he was like “I’m sure you girls do that shit all the time”. I just want to set the record straight. We DO NOT do that. We do not shove used tampons back into our vaginas.

The point of this article is self-explanatory. There’s a line between “use it again” and “throw it the fuck out”, and that line isn’t blurry at all so put your goggles on and recognize it.

Still not sold on the punani plunger. Tampons FTW

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Congratulations, suggestion section of Youtube.

It’s not even noon on Monday.

And I’ve already reached that “that’s enough internet for today” point.

Right after seeing the lovely FreeLee demonstrate how to put a Lunette up her poon-ette.


(Even Jackson can’t enjoy his popcorn at this thought)

You know, I’m pretty sure I posted something about these “cups” a while back. They’re meant to be these alternatives to tampons that you fold before shoving past your femme folds and up into the uteral abyss. Once, there, it unfolds again to its original shape whereupon it serves its function: a goblet of gore. Catching everything cotton normally would. But instead of easily discarding it into a toilet bowl of denial about your feminine tragic flaw that is an emotional sanguine explosion every four weeks, you know what you get to do when the vaj chalice gets full? Take it out and wash it. With your fingers. With your human fingers covered in the same flesh you put in your contact lenses with. Wait – if that doesn’t gross you out, I want you to close your eyes (after reading the following sentences, obv) and do the following thought experiment:

You’re on the toilet, removing this fluid filled pussy plunger after a busy day.

(Yep, we’re going there.)

What sound does it make as it hits the water?

Something on par with your boyfriend’s A.M. constitutional, mayhaps?

Or is it more like a post binge drink and bar food vomit sound?

Oh, and what about the backsplash a half second later?

Yes, that was meant to ruin your brunch, my love.

With that, it’s time to hit up Wegmans (now that my appetite’s all worked up) and while I’m there – also restock on my toxic cotton mice in all their death-to-the-planet plastic applicator glory. Why? Because I’m trying my hardest to recycle and use reusable bags on my shopping excursions. But you know what? Until I get to move into an off-grid treehouse in an orchard with an amazing view of the mountains or ocean, a girl’s gotta draw the line somewhere to retain her sanity while she’s still part of society.

And for me that line is wherever my lady crater ends and the rest of the world begins.

As “everything” as this video is, I’m still as unsold as the first time I saw this.

#sorrynotsorry